We are good at talking, but we have trouble listening. One sage
said, “The only reason we listen is because we know we get to
talk next.” Here are some tips that can change your listening
behavior now. Names! First, repeat a person’s name when you
first meet him or her. This will make you listen first and talk
second. You want to have a mental set to become a better
listener, and repeating a person’s name will help you do that.
Don’t hesitate to ask a person to repeat the name the second
time, especially if the name is unusual. You are showing concern
for the other person, which is an important aspect of listening.
Use the person’s name in your response. “Is this your first time
here, Suzanne?” Ask a question! Second, when you are
anticipating making a comment on what a person has said, ask a
question instead. This will keep you listening longer, and often
the added information will help you make a higher quality
contribution to the conversation. Get information before you
give information. Pause! Third, don’t rush to answer the phone
when it rings. Pause a moment so that you can be mentally ready
to listen to the person calling you rather than thinking about
what you were doing when the phone rang. Taking these few extra
seconds to think will make you a better listener from the
beginning of the phone conversation. In addition, listen as
though you are going to report the message to someone else. This
keeps you focused on the main reason or idea of the call.
Streamline! Fourth, eliminate clutter around the phone and your
desk so you won’t easily be distracted when you are talking by
phone or have a person talking to you in your office. Notes,
pens, folders, clocks, and knickknacks can distract you, and you
may not even be aware of the distraction until you realize you
have no idea what the person just said. Choose your time! Fifth,
when possible choose your listening time during the part of the
day when you are mentally alert. If you are a morning person
make your most important appointments, interviews, or phone
calls during that time. If mornings are difficult for you, make
afternoon calls. You lose listening acumen when you are tired
physically or mentally. Admit! Finally, don’t be afraid to admit
that you’re having a hard time listening and make necessary
adjustments. You might say, “I’m sorry I missed that last point.
Please repeat that for me.” Or “I’m having a hard time
concentrating; let me move to another chair.” Or “Could we pick
up the conversation at a later time this afternoon? I need a
break and some lunch.” Any of these responses will tell people
that you want to listen to their messages, and that what they
have to say is important to you. Some listening skills, such as
suspending judgment, dealing with biases, and avoiding
daydreaming, take time to develop because of the mental
self-discipline they require. Following these tips, however,
will improve your listening immediately.