In women’s tennis, mental stamina separates the women from the girls, so to speak. The ability to remain mentally in control at all times is the mark of a true tennis star.

All athletes who aspire to be pros condition hard physically. They understand the importance of improving strength, proficiency, and endurance. They know it takes hours of challenges to the body to be sure it will perform at its best when it counts.

Yet many super-conditioned athletes choke when it comes to mental toughness. They lose to less qualified players. They become distracted by a noisy and disrespectful crowd. They let their emotions get the better of them when faced with double faults, unforced errors, or bad line calls.

A true champion has the following traits:

• She can concentrate in spite of distractions, both inside and external.
• She has endless self-confidence in her own ability to come out on top.
• She is able to control her emotions, not letting in pre-match jitters, anxiety, and anger.
• She is driven, patient, and consistent.
• She has a “killer instinct” and is determined by a desire to win.

Emotional control is of utmost importance for a champion. A champ who is losing a match 1-6, 1-5 and receiving serve knows that she hasn’t lost yet. She plays that game wise that if she breaks serve at this instant, the pendulum may very well swing in her direction. She doesn’t “psych herself out” when the chips are down.

Most players know the feeling of losing a match because they haven’t remained in control of themselves. They lost the match, not so much because their opponent beat them, but because they beat themselves.

All the physical training and coaching in the world can’t solve this problem. In a match between two players who are equally coupled in stamina and strokes, the one who has command of her mind and emotions will come out on top every single time.

Mental ruggedness is made, not innate. It takes practice, just like physical practice. One of the most powerful tools for mental training is visualization. Players picture themselves consistently delivering mastered shots, and continue the visualization up to and including receiving the trophy. Visualization exercises are done both on and off the court. Just before a match, champions oftentimes have pre-game rituals that include visualizing themselves playing their best and dominating their opponent.

Becoming a true champion involves hours of physical training and practice, but it also involves mental training. The player that recognizes the importance of mental training is the player that can truly meet her potential.

Knowing what a true tennis champion goes through to prepare for victory makes watching a tennis championship an even greater experience.

Guys, we ladies know that you can be pretty clueless. Have you ever said something “innocent” that got your woman really mad? There are just some things a woman does not want to hear. If you want to keep peace in your relationship, take my advice and don’t ever say this to your girlfriend/wife:

Mistake #1: “Your best friend is hot.” She’ll end up feeling threatened that you’re attracted to someone so close to her. It cause tension anytime the three of you get together. If you think her friend, sister, cousin, etc. is a knock-out - just keep it to yourself.

Mistake #2: “Maybe You should go on a diet.” Women are insecure enough about their bodies as it is. Seeing models and actresses on TV and in magazines makes many women feel like they’re not good enough. You should never let her know that you notice her flaws, because she’s probably already obsessing over them.

Mistake #3: “I don’t ever want to get married.” Most women are interested in long-term relationships. Plus, they love weddings. Telling her that you NEVER want to get married will definitely cause conflict in your relationship. Saying this to a woman may end your reltionship or lead to a psycho possessive girlfriend.

Mistake #4: “My ex used to do it different.” Your new honey does NOT want to be compared to your ex. Do not remind her that you ever had sexual & romantic feelings for someone else. You might end up making her jealous. The exception is when you are making a comparison extremely favorable to your new girlfriend. However, you have to be careful - bringing up past lovers too often for no reason will make her think that your ex is still on your mind.

Mistake #5: “Maybe I should go without you.” If you’re going somewhere, and your significant other wants to come, just let her! You know that she might not enjoy herself, but denying her will make her suspicious. Besides, isn’t it fun spending quality time together?

Mistake #6: “That fart you made was killer!” If you’re both really close and comfortable with each other, this might be okay. However, when she lets one slip by accident and starts blushing, DO NOT laugh at her. It’s an extremely embarassing situation and she doesn’t need you to notice that she has “odors.”

Mistake #7: “Why do you always want to talk?” I’ll tell you the answer now so that you never ask her this. The reason females always want to talk, is because that’s what they’re good at doing. They’ve been doing it for years and that’s what they’re used to. Your silence can mean a lot of different things to a woman, some bad - so open up and let her know what’s really on your mind. If you don’t want to talk, say that you don’t want to talk right now, but would be happy to in 1/2 hour. Anything else will make you look like an insensitive jerk.

Keep your woman happy and don’t utter any of these offensive remarks. Remember that saying the wrong thing could mean that you end up sleeping on the couch tonight!

Jessica Kihara

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Nobody can say with any amount of certainty when the tradition of giving anniversary gifts started. Most probably it evolved over time. Traditionally, each wedding anniversary is celebrated by giving a gift made from a different material. The first anniversary is symbolized with paper, and subsequently anniversary gifts become more precious or scarce to reflect the growing number of years a couple has remained together.

Some say calling the twenty-fifth anniversary Silver Anniversary and the fiftieth anniversary Gold anniversary may have originated in medieval Europe, where wives were given a silver wreath to celebrate their twenty-fifth year of marriage and a gold wreath for their fiftieth anniversary. Diamonds are traditional in both the sixtieth and seventy-fifth years.

The traditional anniversary gifts list may seem somewhat boring, but it doesn’t have to be. There are many ways you can turn each year’s theme into a special gift. The traditional paper and cotton gifts for the first years can include a lovely origami booklet, paper tickets to a movie or a scrapbook with a plush cotton cover, filled with memories.

A bit of creativity can twist tradition to give an enchanting new flavor. For instance, you can celebrate the yearly tradition even if you want to break away from it to give another type of gift. Or use the yearly theme to wrap your gift or trim it with any item made from that year’s material.

You can go a step further and make the theme material of your traditional anniversary gift a carrier for your gift, like tucking a ring in a leather wallet, or tying a cluster of roses together with a bracelet. You can even try hiding a necklace inside the pocket of a silk robe or fold a cozy woolen shawl around another gift.

by Neal Walters

1) Take advantage of the free lessons at our new SpanishLearningCentre.com site. See the resource box at the bottom for full details. We provide free and fun audio lessons.

2) Don’t waste the driving time you spend in the car. Instead of listening to the radio (unless you are listening to Spanish radio), try listening to programmed course materials. Many people commute more than 5 or 10 hours per week. Even at 30 minutes a day, you will be astounded what you can learn in the car.

3) Carry flashcards with you. Make your own flashcards on 3×5 notecards using words from the course from which you are currently studying. Be sure and carry them with you; next time you are standing in line or waiting for whatever, pull out the flashcards, and do a quick review.

4) It really helps to have a good book (with a Spanish/English dictionary in the back). Not everyone learns best with audios; many students need to see and read the words for them to sink into their brains. Books will fill in gaps, such as grammar, and provide a quick reference when you need to lookup a word or phrase.

5) Don’t forget about software on your computer. You can easily listen to the same words and phrases over-and-over again without tiring out your computer. With multimedia systems, you typically get immediate feedback on your progress and mistakes.

6) Join a Spanish club or class. Maybe your local high-schools or colleges have continuing or “fun” educations classes like languages. The classes are often $25 or less, and you have the benefit of learning with others, and getting feedback from a teacher.

7) Travel to a Spanish-speaking country. It will immerse you in the language and culture, plus you may enjoy the site-seeing and museums. You will see and read signs everyday, and overhear people speaking Spanish.

Free beginner tutorials available now at Beginner Spanish website.

One of the most well-known wedding traditions revolves around the following rhyme:

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed,
Something Blue, and a Silver Sixpence in Her Shoe.

There are many other wedding traditions that are meant to bring good luck but it is this poem that many brides try to ensure that they abide by.

Of course many wedding traditions depend on the nationality or religion of the bride and groom but this one dates back to Victorian England and to a protestant Christian ceremony.

The ‘Something Old’ part of this and other similar wedding traditions represents the link with the bride’s family and the past. To comply with this part of the wedding traditions it is common for many brides choose to wear a piece of antique family jewellery or a mother’s or grandmother’s wedding dress.

‘Something New’ indicates good fortune and success in the bride’s new life. The wedding gown is often chosen as the new item for these wedding traditions but it can be almost anything.

‘Something Borrowed’ is to signify that the brides’ friends and family will always be there for her. The borrowed object might be something small and many brides have a lace handkerchief to comply with this part of the wedding traditions.

The ‘Something Blue’ is the symbol of faithfulness and loyalty and is one of the cheekier of the wedding traditions as many brides-to-be choose to wear a blue garter!

The final part of this rhyme of wedding traditions is often neglected as it could be rather uncomfortable for the bride but a ‘Silver Sixpence in her Shoe’ is to wish the bride wealth in her new married life.

Lorna Mclaren has an information and resources website at http://www.a1-ourwedding.com where you can gather everything you need for your special day.

Just when you thought a new computer was too expensive something exciting happens. Something called “refurbished”. Computer equipment is getting better everyday. Technology is far exceeding everyone’s expectations and the durability and reliability is ever increasing. For this reason refurbished laptops are selling faster today than ever before! People are starting to realize they can save up to 60% off the retail value and still get an awesome laptop computer.

Why are refurbished laptop sales on the rise? Companies are getting overloaded with equipment that is used, but not very old. Individuals that have extra money to burn and simply must have the newest of everything are trading in their old computers for new ones. Instead of just throwing it away, corporations are refurbished them to make available to the more savvy person. All the same great replacement parts go into a refurbished notebook computer, but the savings are tremendous.

This word of reconditioning computer equipment is spreading like wildfire. Many refurbished dealers are finding it increasingly difficult to keep products in stock because people are simply buying them so fast. These hot items are in serious demand.

Refurbished laptops are not the only thing selling like hotcakes right now either. There are several different products that are flying off the shelves like crazy. For instance, refurbished palm pilots, MP3 players, desktops, and printers are just a few. Technology all around is getting better. Top companies are producing the highest quality merchandise and they are also reconditioning products to last longer and perform better.

Some of the best computer companies in the world like IBM, Dell, HP, Gateway are all refurbishing computer equipment with highly skilled technicians with the most sophisticated equipment. Now when you buy refurbished notebooks the quality is brought up to the same high standards of a new one, without the high cost.

For the most part, many of us will never use all the capabilities a new laptop has anyway. Refurbished laptops are very comparable in performance and features, so why would anyone bother paying the large sticker price of a new notebook computer? It’s hard to say. Refurbished laptops come with Windows OS, have blazing processor speeds, ample memory, and the list goes on and on. Of course the refurbished laptop computer has been used, but most of the time it is really hard to tell.

Being able to justify reasons to buy new over reconditioned is getting more difficult to do. Refurbished laptops offer the same features and reliability a new one does, but one major difference- the price! Buying, or updating your old computer equipment just got much more affordable thanks to new and improved technology and better refurbishing techniques. It’s hard to keep up with our ever changing world, but it doesn’t have to be expensive.

Online Crazy Deals offers factory reconditioned computer equipment ranging from desktop computers to laptops and palm pilots. Savings are spectacular when compared to new products. OCD has quickly become one of the most trusted refurbished dealers in the world due to only offering the best reconditioned equipment possible.

The most important first lesson about having the best possible bridal shower is careful party planning. If your bridal shower is carefully planned, it will be not only more organized but a world of fun. Paying attention to details is what makes a great bridal shower. If you treat your bridal shower just like any other project, you have a good chance of making it a success. Proper planning is the most important first step to take toward a great bridal shower.

The following list can serve as a simple outline for your overall bridal shower planning. Follow the outline to help plan the bridal shower. Be sure to check or underline each completed task, so you can concentrate on the incomplete items. It is also helpful to use actual dates to meet your deadlines.

First steps

The most important first step is to select the appropriate date and time. Be sure to check with the most important participants, and make sure the date works for everyone.
Set your budget
Select the place (A favorite restaurant is a great location, but a friends house works on a limited budget.)
Prepare your guest list

Five to six weeks prior the bridal shower

Select method of invitations (You can save money by sending e-invitations.)
Make a decision about the shower theme

One month prior to the bridal shower date

Send out the shower invitations
Decide on food (Select caterer or restaurant if you wish to use one)
Research bridal shower keepsake favors

Two weeks before the bridal shower

Based on RSVPs from the invited bridal shower guests make final arrangements regarding food and other planned activities

Last minute preparations

Contact caterer or restaurant (if you use one) to make sure they are ready for the shower party
Put together any accessories you plan to use for the bridal shower
Wrap gifts
Make sure a video recorder and cameras are available to record the bridal shower

George Meszaros www.sweet-reflections.com

How can there be a wedding without wedding speeches? The bride’s father is the first to do the honors, followed by the groom and then by the Best Man. At some weddings even the maid of Honor may be asked to speak a few words. The guests wait for the speeches to end before heading for the bar, and joining the celebrations. It is not that wedding speeches are not fun. They are. Good speeches can add life and zest to wedding celebrations. But these speeches are few and far between. The majority of the speeches fall flat, because the speaker has not made adequate preparations. Most wedding speeches are today delivered as a ritual. The bride’s father is too busy making arrangements and has not spent sufficient time reciting his lines; the groom is too overwhelmed by the occasion to stand up and deliver; and the Best Man is busy enjoying the attention to worry about the speech. So, what should be done? Should the guests suffer the speeches in silence at wedding after wedding? Or should the speakers realize the importance of the occasion and do justice to the responsibility entrusted to them?

The speakers clearly must rise to the occasion. They must put in the same effort in their speeches as the families of the bride and groom have done in making the wedding arrangements. They must remember that they have not been asked to deliver an impromptu or an extempore speech. They had enough time and warning to get their speeches ready. Now that the time has come they must not let the guests down. The best wedding speeches, of course, are those that are delivered at the spur of the moment. But those who are gifted give these speeches. The rest have to work hard to prepare their speeches. They must spend some time putting their thought on paper, ideally at least a month before the big day. When doing so they should not look for smart one-liners to liven up their speeches but talk about the groom, the bride, the family and friends. The speech should not forget the guests who have taken time off their busy schedules to be present for the wedding. It’s a great family occasion, and the speeches must capture this spirit. A good idea is to rehearse the wedding speeches. This helps eliminate unnecessary words or sentences. The speaker does not have to stutter to locate a word or a sentence. His thoughts flow smoothly. More important, they are suited to the occasion, and add to overall joy and festivities.

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Title: Sustaining Romance After Becoming Parents

Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com

Copyright: © 2005 by Margaret Paul

URL: http://www.innerbonding.com

Word Count: 708

Category: Relationships

Sustaining Romance After Becoming Parents

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

A major challenge for parents, especially new parents, is finding the time to be together in ways that foster romance in their relationship. A question that a reader recently asked me is: “Is it the quality of time versus the quantity of time that is significant in ‘we-time’? If yes, how?”

Romance is determined far more by the quality of the energy between two people than by the amount of time they spend together. If two people spend all day together, but they are not open to each other regarding the sharing of learning, laughter, play and creativity, they will not feel romantic and intimate. They will feel far more romantic if they spend a few minutes together and that few minutes is filled with the intimacy that comes from being open hearted and emotionally connected with each other. If two people hug goodbye in the morning and the hug is perfunctory with their minds already elsewhere, that hug will do nothing to foster romance later that evening. But if the hug is filled with love, warmth, tenderness and caring, that hug can do much to sustain the romance through the day to be further expressed in the evening.

The question is, what determines the quality of energy between two people? What makes one hug filled with romantic potential and another hug empty and meaningless?

The quality of the energy between two people is determined by their intent:

* If your intent is to have control over getting love or avoiding pain, the hug will be empty and depleting, regardless of your partner’s intent.

* If your intent and your partner’s intent is to give love and share love, the hug will be fulfilling and energizing.

There is a vast difference between the intention to get love and avoid pain, and the intention to give and share love.

When your intention is to get love, you are coming from an empty place within and wanting your partner to fill that place for you. You will be giving the hug in order to get filled - giving to get. Your touch will energetically be a pull on your partner’s energy to fill you up and make you feel lovable and worthy. Since it doesn’t feel good to be pulled on energetically, your partner may hug you from a withdrawn state, with the intention to avoid the pain of being pulled on. If one of you hugs with the intent to get love, and the other hugs with the intent to avoid pain, the hug will not feel good.

If both of you are coming from an empty place within and both of you are hugging with the intention to get love, there will be no love to share and the hug will not feel good.

If one of you hugs with the intention to give and share love and the other hugs with the intent to get love, the giver will end up feeling unfilled. He or she may enjoy giving love, but there will be no sharing of love, and it is the share of love that is truly the highest experience in life.

If both of you are already filled with love within due to taking personal responsibility for your own feelings and wellbeing, and to being spiritually connected to the Source of love, then your intent is likely to be to give and share love. When you both have the intent to give and share love, the hug will be a wonderful expression of your love and will be very fulfilling. Starting your day with a few minutes of sharing love sets the stage for sharing love at other times. Even if your time together is very limited, romance can be sustained when two people have the intent to give and share love.

Moving out of the intent to get love and avoid pain and into the intent to give and share love is a personal process of inner growth. It takes both people desiring to learn how to fill themselves with love so that they have love to share to create and sustain a fulfilling romantic relationship. As parents with limited time to spend with each other, doing this inner work is essential for the relationship with thrive.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available.

“The Date to Mate trap is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. OK, so it doesn’t quite fit, but it’s close enough.” David Steele, author of Conscious Dating, Finding the Love of Your Life in Today’s World.

The Date to Mate Trap is one that is easy to fall into when you are looking for a serious relationship and not just dating for fun. I have a client who called me over the weekend, very upset with the man she has been seeing for just over 3 weeks. “We went to a party on Saturday and it just didn’t feel right. He said he was tired and wanted to leave around 11. He’s been staying over the last few times we’ve been out and this time he said no he was going home! I was really upset because I was expecting him to stay over. But there are other things that bother me too. He just isn’t opening himself up to me the way I want. He’s not interested in my work, which is very important to me and he’s not interested in any kind of spirituality either. I feel like I have to drag stuff out of him. The conversation is so superficial. I’m really frustrated with this relationship!”

She had clearly fallen into the Date to Mate Trap! The Date to Mate Trap happens when you meet someone and within a short period of time, 2-3 weeks, become a couple. You start sleeping together and it becomes almost assumed that you will spend weekends together and connect several times in between. In other words, it’s like a relationship!

But the problem is you don’t really know this person well enough yet for a real relationship to have developed naturally. Because you want a committed relationship, you get into one with everyone you go out with who you like, or have some things in common. This can result in needing to solve unsolveable problems. An unsolveable problem is when one of your requirements or needs cannot be met in this relationship. Yet you have already, prematurely, decided to make this relationship work. This results in a lot of frustration for both people and usually leads to relationship failure.

In my Soulmate Success Training, I help you identify your requirements, needs and wants very clearly. When you uncover what’s usually hidden, that is, what are those things that really allow you to be your best self and feel loved and cared for in a relationship, when you know that, you can then use that information to test a potential partner while you are dating, before you actually get into an relationship. Then you will not be tempted to try and form a relationship with everyone you go out with to see if it works. You have a method, a system that allows you to date consciously and avoid the heartache and frustration of trying to make a relationship work.

Karen, my client, had taken Soulmate Success Training, so I asked her which one of her requirements was she ignoring in an effort to make this relationship work. She was stunned! She hadn’t realized that she was doing that! I also asked her how she had managed to let herself get carried away so quickly after only a few weeks. It turned out that the Chemistry Trap was playing here too.

As we talked, Karen began to see that John did not fit all her requirements. He fit most of them and many of her needs and quite a few of her wants, which were just icing on the cake, but without all her requirements in place she was running up against some unsolveable problems which were causing her a lot of anguish.

Now that she saw what was happening, it was easy to decide what to do. She realized that John was not a fit long term. She could date him for fun, which means not be exclusive and probably forego the sleepovers, or she could let him go and move on, thereby being available for the one who would fit all her requirements. Either way she knew she had to talk with him and let him know what was going on for her. That’s what being a conscious dater is all about. The other person is not wrong for not being able to meet your requirements and needs and you are not wrong for having those particular requirements and needs. It just isn’t a fit.

Deb Melton, Singles Coach and Certified Fearless Living Coach lives in Denver and coaches singles all over the country to help them find their soulmate. Deb’s philosophy is, “It’s never too late to find the love of your life and live the life you love! Deb also offers teleclasses and seminars on a variety of subjects for singles of all ages. Whether you have never been married or you are recently divorced, Deb’s coaching and classes are interactive, fun and full of helpful information. Go to her website to learn more http://www.denversinglescoach.com