Finding Your Inner Oboe Player
When you’ve been a student for so long, sometimes it’s hard crossing that line into
the professional world. Of course, we should keep learning no matter “what” we are,
or things can get boring pretty fast.
But I remember having a hard time with this transition, and it wasn’t until my (brief)
return to grad school that I felt I broke through the wall separating student and pro.
You probably know that the line between those two categories often has nothing to
do with level of playing, but attitude.
There are students that play amazingly better than some professionals, and there
are students that are “pro” long before their time simply because they get paid to
play. But, I think the difference is mainly in how you perceive yourself.
I had a wonderful time in college at Eastman, growing and learning and changing all
of the time. With the help of my fabulous teacher, I was just starting to get a
glimpse of myself (and not his carbon-copy) as an oboist.
I left school and it quickly became overwhelming. I had never been completely on
my own before, and there I was in a brand-new city, supposedly a professional. But I
really didn’t feel like one.
Reeds became a struggle again, and they hadn’t been for the last few years.
Suddenly I was on my own and I realized I didn’t know what I stood for. I missed
being at school terribly, and felt an insecurity that I was sure would go away if I just
had someone to guide me again.
Well, somehow in the midst of that I managed to win a 2nd oboe job (Knoxville
Symphony). It was a whirlwind year, living the life of a pro with an actual job. Still, I
felt like I didn’t know myself yet as an oboist and I considered all kinds of things.
Ultimately, I ended up in grad school for just one semester at the Manhattan School
of Music, and it was there that somehow I found myself. I’m sure you are thinking
that it was the school itself, or the famed oboe teacher, Joseph Robinson. And I
suppose it was, in a way, but not how I expected it to be.
I started to hear my playing as different and special (everybody’s is, I realize now!)
and I found myself almost unconsciously trying to do the EXACT OPPOSITE of
everything Robinson told me to do.
I am generally a very accommodating person, but I realized that I didn’t believe what
he was saying, and I couldn’t pretend. It just wasn’t me, and it wasn’t until I felt
something so WRONG that I realized what I had in me was right. Right for me, that
is.
Absolutely everything I heard, oboe playing and otherwise was completely different
than how I thought of it, or heard it in my mind’s ear. I know he was frustrated that I
wouldn’t conform, but I just couldn’t.
IT was the first time in my oboe career that I had to reject someone’s teaching
purely because it didn’t fit me, and I had the guts to do just that. I realized that the
entire time I felt like I didn’t know myself, I was actually developing who I was.
And one day it was just there, and I could distinguish it from everything else.
So, if you are on this road, don’t be discouraged. Just keep trying to find the oboe
player in you, and don’t conform because you are supposed to. Despite what we
learn sometimes, there is NO right or wrong in music. It’s all about who you are, it’s
just finding “YOU” that is the challenge.
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Oboist and online entrepreneur Maryn Leister helps beginner and professional
oboists to be more productive and have more fun on the oboe. She publishes the
weekly Oboe:Space newsletter, the Oboe Insider, and gives away more FREE oboe
reed tips than she can remember with her Reed Guru service.
Sign-up for the Oboe:Space newsletter and start getting your FREE oboe reed tips
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